Forgive Me Shelly

Shelly and I were walking and she said this:
“We had had a wonderful love-making session. We both agreed. That visual wasn’t in the dream but the afterglow was. We were walking down a busy bridge touching and separating, and touching and separating and he said, ‘You know I still want to do things on my own,’ and I tried to reach out for him but he kept moving out from reaching distance and then suddenly disappeared into a space for disappearing and didn’t return. I kept walking on the bridge, sadly and feeling very missing. He was just too quick and didn’t give me any choice.
The essence he appeared as in the dream was everything I wish he was in person, except for the disappearing which he does quite well in person — and it’s the thing he does in person that I dislike the most. He doesn’t really mean to but I’m just too much — so he has to disappear to get some of what he is and I’m not back, before he forgets who he is without me trying to manifest him as something he’s not.
I don’t blame him. I blame Coca-Cola. They’re good for blaming everything that’s wrong on. My bad personality especially.
He’ll never be in person, the essence of what he is in the dreams, so when I wake up disappointed that I’ve only been dreaming, I have to remind myself that it’s just great to have whatever it is for all it’s worth — something to dream about if nothing else — a big round teddy bear that loves me as much as I do him. We’re really good friends in the dreams and not too much less for real.”
It was a whole little story for recounting here, so I’ve stolen everything that Shelly said.
Forgive me Shelly, for not giving you credit but you have disappeared to the same place that he did and I don’t really know who you are.


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