To Go Incognito

“Now hiring” the sign read. But under it in minuscule, almost illegible print was the addition, “If you are a women, only women with large breasts that are willing to show them by wearing low-cut and clingy clothes that reveal them need apply.”

Maybe she was just imagining those minuscule words. Maybe she was reading the minds of the men doing the hiring. Do women who hire think like that too? Are there women who hire? Most of the women who hire that she had ever met were lesbians. That’s not completely true — but the women who hire that she had ever met that weren’t lesbians were women in women’s kinds of jobs — like decorating and then men who were gay were hired a lot — did small breasts play any part in that?

Men can have breasts too, large enough to wear a bra. Some men change their sex to have them and to wear a bra. Others just eat too much. Who would ever want to have to wear a bra?

“It’s a man’s world,” she heard a lot when she was growing up as if it was a given and never to be changed. Implied in there somewhere was, “Therefore, you might consider having a nose job, breast implants, and quit eating so much.” Oh, and, “Be docile and pert and accommodating and submissive and…whatever a man might want.”

That was exactly why she didn’t favor women much as role models unless they were women who were very independent and cared very little what any man might think. There weren’t very many women who made that very obvious — at least when she was growing up. If they felt that way, it usually ended in divorce — so, most of them kept quiet for survival and money reasons.

What she did do was to watch what the men did and learned the skills she saw them have and do — like sawing wood, and building things, and mowing lawns and using tools and standing up to things they thought were true. They didn’t need large breasts for that and they did not have to wear a bra.

What can you do in a man’s world with large breasts when the first thing men see is them? It’s easier to be heard by a man you want to talk to if you have a double A or bind them. What they don’t know, they can’t stare at or use against you or try to fondle or back you into a corner for the privilege of trying to influence having sex. Women with unseen breasts are less likely to get into that kind of fix.

Women with large breasts seemed at a distinct disability for the things she thought she wanted — certainly not ogling and fondling attention — bah, bah humbug to that.

She would envy girls with small breasts and never rue the day she might not ever have double Ds or X, Ys or Zs.

It’s far better to be able to go incognito.