Why had he gone away. Had she pushed him? She thought she was just protecting herself and wanting him to step a little more forward, make a confession, get off of any fence. That’s what she tells herself now. Truth be told, she was fully frightened and couldn’t absorb the amount of exhilarating feeling she was being subjected to. She had to run. She might lose herself or smother him to death if she didn’t.
He had disappeared without leaving a signal in the opposite and same direction — the direction of protection. She tried sending smoke signals into the ether hoping that he’d see them. She wrote stories with hidden messages but he didn’t appear to read them. So, all that she could think was that it had been the kind of lie to herself that she had been afraid it had been from the start.
She reached out one more time just to give herself a privilege — like eating another cookie fully knowing that the cookie might just kill her in the end.
There seemed to be messages in the ether he meant for her to pick up too — ones that she had to believe he had decided to jump down on the wrong side of the fence that put him not on the same side as she — silent and loud ringing words that hurt her feelings. Were they meant for her or someone else — she couldn’t tell — “I wish I’d met you sooner so that we could have been together that much longer,” but he didn’t use her name and he hadn’t really been with her, ever.
She knew her own name by now. So did he. Why didn’t he use it?
Is it just more fun to imagine?
It certainly seems safer.
Rubber bands come back when you stretch them.
Image Credit: the ‘Great Explainer’